And I thought that knitting was a stress reducer!

I woke up Saturday to the sound of our old golden retriever barking at the bottom of the stairs. So I went to go help her up them, problem was that as I reached the top of the stairs to walk down them I realized that I wasn't able to go down them. I was so dizzy that I went and crawled back into bed hoping that a few more minutes of sleep would chase away the vertigo. It didn't. All day long if I bent over at all I fell over. I didn't feel sick, my ears haven't been giving me any trouble (not that they do, but I figured perhaps it could be an inner ear thing). Sunday was a little better, but I was still kind of dizzy. So I hauled myself into the doctor on Monday morning. Told him that my blood pressure is still high (it's not been medicated and it's been running high for a couple of years), told him of my vertigo and of the 2 migraines I've had in the past week and a half. I had my blood pressure taken three times while I was there and was sent off with a prescription for high blood pressure medication (that the dear physicians assistant that I love, said would also help the headaches and that he didn't think that I had had a stroke or a series of them on Saturday, but that we do need to attend...finally...to the high bp). Oy. It's a scary thing to hear the word stroke, hearing that you didn't have one is refreshing, but stroke = scary. I'm a knitter. I haul my knitting everywhere with me. I especially knit if I'm under a lot of stress (oh like say, finding out that a family member has drug problems, or another family member or two has cancer...you know...stressful stuff). I thought that knitting was supposed to calm you down. I obviously don't knit enough. Do you think that this little scare could be my ticket to more knitting time? (yea right, I know, no matter what there's still only 24 hours in a day and a lot of stuff to get done....)

Peace

(paragraph that was here removed)

My mother in law received the shrug that I had knit for her. I finished it a couple of months ago, but hadn't gotten around to sending it off. When she got this diagnosis of cancer I boxed it up and sent it off along with a jar of chokecherry jelly that I made from the chokecherries that my youngest two children and I had picked. It was so nice to hear that it all arrived safely at their house and my mother in law sounded better than she has in ages. It doesn't change the diagnosis, nor does it shorten the time spent waiting for doctors appointments and test results, but they know I'm thinking about them. She said the wound on my father in laws head where they have biopsied the melanoma is healing. Hopefully it won't be all bad news once the results start rolling in.

I am ready for this year to be over, it has been most trying and I am sure that 2007 will be better....(good Lord it's only September!?)

more cancer

My father in law has it too.

Cancer

While I was visiting my inlaws over the summer and knitting one day my mother in law mentioned that she used to wear shrugs. I can't remember now how shrugs came up, I was knitting a washcloth or something else that is mind numbingly easy. They were just perfect for keeping your shoulders warm and that she'd enjoy having one again. We returned home and I found the perfect washable wool (at 82 years old, with neuropathy I didn't think she'd appreciate something that needed a lot of special care when washing) and I cast on. I got the thing knitted, but didn't send it off. I thought about it, but where she lived the temeratures were still about the same as the surface of the sun, and while they air condition their house I wasn't in a hurry to get it sent off. Every now and again I'd tell my husband that we should send it off or it would be her Christmas present (or her birthday present in January). A little voice had told me to hold off sending it for now, I'm sure of it.

A few weeks ago my mother in law was into the doctor for an MRI (or CAT scan I don't remember which) and a spot was found on her lung. Yesterday she called me and left a message that she had bad news please call her back, I thought that my elderly father in law had passed, I called her back. She broke down as I was talking to her so badly that when my husband called her a little later she couldn't talk to him. 8 years ago? it must be 10 years ago now or more because she had breast cancer before cancer took my dad (which was 8 years and 11 months ago). She had a mastectomy. Several years later (still several years ago) a small pocket of cancerous cells were found at the mastectomy site and they were removed, she was declared cancer free and I believe that she was given that Tamoxofin or whatever the medication is. She and her doctor were comfortable with foregoing the chemo (which I agree with even back then I don't think that she could have survived the chemo). The cancer is back, now it is in her lungs. She's so scared. I wish I could have crawled through the phone line to hold her while she cried. I wish that she could have talked to Chris, it was the most horrible thing I have had to tell Chris.

I packaged up that shrug and a jar of chokecherry jelly that I made from the chokecherries that my youngest two children and I picked and sent them off to her. And a prayer that whatever will be will be and that we will be able to accept what God has decided with grace.

A Shawl I'm donating

Every year our elementary school has a "Santa's Breakfast". The school choir sings and plays hand bells, a breakfast of juice, coffee and cinnamon rolls is served, there is a raffle of gift baskets put together by the different grades/classes and staff/volunteers/parents. Last year another knitter mom knit up a hat and mittens (I believe, I may have to ask her what her contribution was, because my mind is like a steel sieve these days...not that it matters anyway) Anyway.....one of the PTA leaders told me "The other Cheri (actually I believe she spells her name Sherry, but same diff) knit up some things for last years Santa breakfast, would you consider knitting up something so that I could bid/buy all of the raffle tickets for it." And before I knew what was happening, I heard my voice say "you know I was thinking of knitting a shawl and donating" (I was?!! Why did I never mention it to myself? The truth is I'd thought about knitting up a shawl for a friends private schools annual fundraiser dinner/silent auction that I just adore going to even tho I don't have children there. So there I am thinking "I have so many things that I need to get done for gifts and other charity knitting that I do on a regular basis (baby hats) how am I going to get this puppy done before January. So I dug in my rather limited stash and came up with some merino lace weight blue jeans stuff from Knitpicks and a leaf lace shawl pattern from an Interweave knits and I cast on. School has been on for three weeks and I've hauled this project everywhere with me because I just knew that if I set that puppy down I wouldn't pick it up again until the week before Santa's breakfast when I'd be sobbing over my needles with a huge knotted up mess of yarn wondering if there was any booze in the house. So here she is, blocking on my living room floor (with the white towel you see in the corner over her to keep the dogs and cat from shedding on her). As soon as she's dry I'm schlepping her over to the school and handing her over. (Carmella, I believe that it's the perfect size for you and you'd look lovely in blue).

Now back to baby hats and socks.....